I finished my day 11 really wobbly. Like, really wobbly.
And dang it, I always am wobbly right around day 11. The excitement of resuming has worn off. There isn't huge weight loss (yet) to keep me motivated. And the hunger. Oh my Lord, the hunger!
Hunger has been a massive issue for me throughout my Bright Line Eating journey. I've written about it before. And while part of me things I should increase my food, another part always responds that increasing my food is likely to stop my weight loss, which has happened in the past.
Is it the hunger, though? Or is it more the fear of hunger? Rationally, I know that hunger is not an emergency. I know another meal is coming soon.
But when the wave of hunger hits, especially if it's 2, 3, 4 hours before the next meal, I start to panic. My anxiety rises. My stomach clenches. I brace myself for hours of pain and suffering. If I'm in a grocery store, I'm likely to grab for the first thing available. Stop. That. Hunger.
I am terrified of hunger.
So I wonder if what is bothering me is not so much the hunger as it is the fear of the hunger.
The fear that I won't be able to handle it. That it will overwhelm me and carry me down. The fear that letting go of my old eating habits will mean something bad is going to happen.
It's a minor distinction probably. But still an important one.
Plan for today: Get curious about my hunger. When the feelings arise, see if I can distinguish between actual hunger and my fear of that hunger. Is it possible to separate them? And do a reality check.
Worth a try, for sure.
No comments:
Post a Comment