Finished Day 20 and I'm Still Sober!

Still managing to abstain from sugar (especially sugar). Hooray. Still struggling with overwhelming urges when I'm tired and stressed.

Thing I've Discovered: The more I let myself think about breaking a bright line (should I give in and have another handful of nuts?), the more likely I am to break a line. If I can interrupt the thinking and analyzing, I'm much more likely to stay on course.

There's a quote from Tim Grover (an author and performance quote) that I love: "Don't think. You already know what you have to do, and you know how to do it. What's stopping you?"

I already know that I have to abstain from sugar, flour, and snacks. I know that one cookie is likely to spark out-of-control cookie eating. I know that having a snack to "just the ease the hunger" will wake up my addictive brain and make my mind miserable.

I don't need to think about it. All I have to do is act on that knowledge. Not think about it, act on it.

And best part is, the less that I even think or ponder or wonder about breaking my bright lines -- the more that I just do the things I have to do -- the more motivated I become to do bright line eating. The more I keep my bright lines, the better the chance that I'll shatter the addictive thinking that always leads me to break my bright lines.

That sounds obvious, but for me, it's kind of mind-blowing. I always thought (even if just subconsciously) that you have to be motivated in order to act a certain way. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that motivation isn't what creates action. It's the other way around. Action creates motivation.

Behaving like a bright line eater is what creates a bright line eater.

Giving Myself Treats for Bright Lines

So I just finished Day 12 of my 90-Day challenge. Yesterday's discovery: It really helps me if I give myself small little daily treats for every day that I keep my bright lines. Inexpensive little rewards.

It helps me because (1) when I'm tempted to break a bright line, I remember how good it is to get the reward and that I want the reward, and (2) it is slowly teaching me to anticipate, savor, and enjoy rewards that are not food. A friend of mine told me she has trouble imagining any kind of reward that is not food-related. If she wants to treat herself, the only thing that does the trick is food.

For me, this is as much a retrain-my-brain issue as giving up Diet Coke was. I couldn't imagine any kind of drink as satisfying as Diet Coke ... until I gave it up and retrained myself to like seltzer water much better.

So here is a list of some of the things I reward myself with when I keep my bright lines:

A new scented votive candle
A few fluffy white carnations (love the scent)
Travel-scented scented body lotion
A new kind of flavored coffee
A new bath bomb/bath fizzie
Super-soft new socks
A new essential oil
New lipstick
Trashy magazine
Really good fruit, like pineapple or in-season blueberries
Great dark coffee from a good coffee shop

Really anything that is out of the ordinary will work. It can even be something I'd be getting myself anyway. I just have to say to myself, "this is my treat. This is my reward for keeping my bright lines."

I don't know how long I have to do this daily, but for now I am. Maybe soon I can switch to every two days. And I'm planning bigger treats for the big milestones like 25 days, 50 days and so on.

Disclaimer: This blog and I are not officially affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

7 Things You Should Never Say to a Bright Line Eater

I came across an article similar to this by a woman who doesn't drink, giving things you should never say to an alcoholic. So here's my version, revised for a non-sugar/non-flour eater:

1.    “Come on, live a little!” I am. I do. I love life and enjoy it all the time. Sugar isn’t the only way to enjoy life.

2.    “How about just a little piece?” Would you ask an alcoholic to have just a “little” whiskey? Or how about a heroin addict to just shoot up a “little”?

3.    “I tried that once and failed. We’ll see how long this lasts for you.” Sugar is a food, not a measure of moral superiority. I’m not thinking I’m better than you. I just don't want to eat.

4.    “Don’t you feel like you’re missing out?” If I felt like I was missing out, I’d have some. Plus, you tell me stories about how tired you are and how you can’t fit into your clothes and your doctor thinks you’re prediabetic. That doesn’t sound like much fun, so I’ll pass.

5.    “I don’t eat this much usually! Really!” You don’t have justify your eating to me just because I’m not.

6.    “But really, why don’t you have some? She made it special. Just to be kind.” You can keep asking but the answer will always be no. I’m just going to get annoyed if you keep asking. Kindness doesn’t necessitate breaking my bright lines.

7.    “But it’s a special occasion!” Just because I’m not eating doesn’t mean I'm not enjoying the occasion and feeling like it's special. I'm having a great time.

Disclaimer: This blog and I are not officially affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

Gifts That Will Melt Your Sweetie's Heart (But Don't Involve Junk Food)

Last year, my wonderful-but-sometimes-clueless husband gave me a big bar of not-my-food for Valentine’s Day. Sigh. He’s supportive but sometimes still has a "you can't always be doing this" attitude.

So this year, I’m preparing a list of ideas for gift ideas that say "I Love You" but don’t involve sugar or flour. I’m trying to think beyond the usual flowers or scented candle, although I always love fresh flowers (and would never say no to a scented candle.)

1. A pair of cozy slippers or super-soft cozy pajamas to remind her to put on her bunny slippers and indulge in some self-care

2. A surprise clean house. Hire a cleaning service and have them clean your entire house while your sweetie is away.

3. Memorabilia from one of your first dates, like a poster of the first movie you saw together or from a special trip you took, like a T-shirt from your honeymoon location.

4. Movie night. Give her a DVD of her favorite romantic movie and watch it together.

5. Necklace from Speakable http://www.speakable.co/ with her favorite powerful word on it (“peace,” or “warrior” or how about “unstoppable”?)

6. A big beautiful serving bowl, large enough to hold an 8 oz. or larger salad (so she doesn’t have to eat out of the big Tupperware bowl every night).

7. Massage course with your sweetie. I haven’t tried it but a friend recommended MeltMassage. https://couplesmassagecourses.com/couples-massage-videos/?afdeet=28

Day 4 Update

I'm starting Day 4 and so far so good! No sugar at all. A tiny bit of flour (arrgh, stress eating). And no snacks despite being very hungry and very stressed. I chalk it all up to a big win.

Since it's early in this reboot experience for me (I've been doing Bright Line Eating since October 2016 but haven't been at all consistent in my bright lines since December 2016), I'm taking a few minutes to review why I'm doing this.

Q: What don't you like about yourself and your food behavior right now?

A: I don't have automaticity yet despite all this time. I consistently break my bright lines, especially the no-flour and no-snack lines. It is thrilling that I've pretty much been able to kick sugar, at least to the point that it's fairly automatic for me not to pick it up, knowing that one bite will lead to hundreds of bites. But I'm still not able to consistently say no to flour or to snacks between meals

Q: What is troubling you?

A: 1) I'm worried that I've developed an addiction to food. I still reach for food to numb myself rather than to nourish myself. I still instinctively crave food when I'm stressed out, tired, angry, upset.  I want to be free from the food chatter. More than being thin, I want to be happy and free. I started bright line eating as a way to cope with my food issues but got sucked into the weight loss game. I need to refocus, using bright lines as a way to free myself from my food addiction. I need to measure my success by how clean my bright lines are, rather than how much weight I've lost.
2) I'm worried about my health, especially my long-term health.
3) I want more energy.
4) I want to be the best version of me possible, and that means dealing with emotions in an adult, mature way, rather than an unhealthy, addictive way. I want healthier ways to deal with emotional issues.

Q: Why do a 90-day challenge?

A: They say it takes about 90 days to establish a habit (though everyone is different). I'm hoping that 90 days will get me momentum and put me in the path of automaticity.

Day 1 of the 90 Day Challenge

Today I am embarking on a 90-day challenge.

For the next 90 days, I  will not eat sugar or flour. I will follow the Bright Line Eating Plan. No matter what. Bad things might happen, but I won't eat sugar or flour. Incredibly horrible things might happen but I won't eat sugar or flour. Funerals, illnesses, weddings, birthdays, all these things might happen but I'll be sugar and flour-free. I can say no to whatever I want. I can leave early or go to bed or cry, but I'll be clean. I'm not eating sugar or flour for the next 90 days. No matter what.

Today's date: Feb. 6, 2018
90 Days from Now: May 7, 2018

Tired of Thinking About Eating

I'm starting this blog because I'm tired. Tired of thinking about food and when and what I'm going to eat next. Tired of trying to stay on a food plan and failing daily because I'm thinking about food all the time. Tired of trying to resume my bright line eating plan.

I want to be free of the food chatter. I want my mind to focus on something other than food. I want to find a simple, permanent solution to my food struggles.

I'm tired of thinking about eating

[This blog is not affiliated with or endorsed by Bright Line Eating Solutions or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.]