Belle uses the term "sober treats" in working with people trying to recover from over-drinking. But treats can work just as well for those recovering from over-eating. I call them "abstinent treats."
The basic idea is that we're hard-wired to like rewards for doing something successfully. We like getting gold star stickers on our homework as kids. We like getting a high-five for hitting a home run. We like getting "likes" for a super Facebook post.
In the same way, we get a warm, cozy, happy feeling when we get a little reward for successfully following a food plan.
And while it might sound silly, it's a powerful tool.
So if you're new to a food plan, or struggling to stick with one, try this:
For every day (or every two days) you follow your plan exactly, give yourself a treat. Obviously, if we're talking about people struggling with food issues, it can't be a food treat. But it should be something that's special for you and that gives you a little happy burst.
Finish your first day eating only and exactly what you planned? Treat yourself to a few fresh flowers.
Finished two days perfectly clean? Treat yourself to a fun magazine you don't need.
Finished three days with no breaks in your plan? Get a new lipstick.
Finished a week? How about soaking in a hot tub with candles lit and spa music playing?
After the first few weeks, you might not need a daily treat. Maybe switch to a treat every two days. Then later, maybe a treat every week. Whatever. You can figure out a time schedule to works for you.
There are a few specific rules, however:
1) It has to feel special to you.
If you don't drink tea, then treating yourself to a cup of mint tea probably won't work. If you hate taking baths, a hot bath with candles lit isn't going to feel rewarding to you (although, wow, it sure would to me).
2) You're not allowed to say "I buy whatever you need anyway."
One of the beauties of abstinent treats is that it doesn't have to be something you don't need. It can be something you really, absolutely do need. It can definitely be something you would buy anyway.
What's important is how you frame it. If you really need a new pair of fuzzy slippers, that can be your abstinent treat. If all your socks have holes in them and you need to buy new ones, that's fine too. You just have to say to yourself, as you are buying it "this is my treat for following my eating plan, because this stuff is hard and I am rocking it" (or whatever wording your like).
3) It doesn't have to cost money.
You could treat yourself to a tall cold glass of fizzy water while sitting on your patio watching the sun set. Or cuddling with your dog on the couch for 15 minutes. Or reading a trashy novel you picked up at the library.
I once treated myself to listening to my favorite holiday song while sitting in a dark room with only the Christmas tree lit. Google "free self-care ideas" and see what ideas pop up. Again, you have to frame it as "this is my abstinent treat."
4) You have to tie the treat to your success immediately.
It won't work to get yourself a fancy new car freshener as a treat for following your food plan three days ago. You get the new car scent thingie the day after your successful day and say "this is my abstinent treat for following my food plan yesterday because this stuff is hard and I'm rocking it!"
5) It cannot be food. It cannot be food. It cannot be food.
I avoid even using a fancy version of some kind of food that I'd buy anyway. I won't buy a fancy fresh pineapple instead of canned pineapple as a treat. Negotiating a healthful way of eating is hard enough. You need to learn how to reward yourself in ways that do not involve food.
6) You're not allowed to say you can't afford it.
You could afford to buy all those sugary and salty desserts and snacks and fast food for years and years, right? Think of all the money you are saving by not buying that crap now!
More than that, "I can't afford that," it often is code for "I don't think I'm worth it." This is not true (you definitely ARE worth it), and one of the keys of changing your behavior is learning that you are worth treating yourself well.
We often suck at giving ourselves credit for doing hard things. You need to learn how to reward yourself for a job well done. This stuff is hard. Sometimes really, really hard. Sure, other people might not need to treat themselves to a new scented candle votive for eating abstinently for a day. That doesn't mean it won't help YOU.
So try it. Even if it feels silly and you're not at all convinced it will work, try it. Try it for two weeks and see how it feels.
If it helps you, you've got another awesome tool for your abstinent toolbox.
[Note: If you don't have a problem converting "alcohol" to "food", I highly purchasing Belle's audio "SP005 - A Shitstorm of Treats (are you getting enough sober treats?)" You can find it on her website HERE at http://www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/store/archivedaudios.htm (scroll down to SP005).
You can also learn more about her concept of "sober treats" (and get tons of other fantastic ideas) in her book, which you can buy HERE: http://www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/store/100daysoberchallengebook.htm ]
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