Why do I overeat when I'm stressed?

"Why do I overeat when I’m stressed? Even though I no longer binge eat, stressful events almost always lead to overeating. It’s frustrating because I want my eating to be stable, regardless of life's circumstances."

I read this question on the website of another person who blogs about overeating. That blogger had some great advice.

But that question has stuck with me. Because it's so so so true. I too inevitably seem to overeat when I'm stress. Why? And what can I do?

Here's what I'm starting to think:

Over many, many years, you probably regularly overate whenever you were stressed. And that's totally understandable -- eating works. It distracts you from whatever is stressing you out, it zaps your brain into a soft fog, and it gives you a little jolt of happiness to counteract the stress.

Except that over time, eating stops working. It becomes awful for your body's health and it starts to become uncontrollable. Your brain gradually decides that this is what you need and must have whenever stress hits. 

To borrow from Amy Johnson in The Little Book of Big Change, it's like you've set an alarm clock to go off whenever stress hits.

So when you try to stop overeating the alarm clock is still set. Your brain still sends out the signal: "Oh you feel stressed? Eat eat eat eat eat eat."

The only way to stop that signal? The only way to reset the alarm clock? 

By ignoring it. By not listening to it. 

You have to consciously tell yourself that this is just an old alarm clock setting. It's OK, there's no actual need for food, your brain is just sending out old neurological junk. This is an old habit that you don't need any more.

I am NOT saying that this is easy. It can be excruciatingly hard not to eat when your brain is outright demanding it. The urge to eat can feel like the same urge to breathe or sleep or go to the bathroom.

But it WILL fade. It does fade. The more often and the more consistently you don't eat when you're stressed, the more faint the voice will come. One of the great wonders of the human brain is that is can be retrained. You can retrain it to crave other things -- things that will genuinely relieve your stress, rather than just numb it out.

So try this.

Step 1: Tell yourself this is just old neurological junk your brain is spitting out. It's old information you don't need anymore. There's no need to act on it.

Step 2: Do something that is genuinely proven to relieve stress. Take a nap. Call a friend. Soak in a hot tub with the candles lit and soft music playing. Put on cozy PJs and snuggle with your dog.

If the urges continue, repeat steps one and two. Keep repeating them until your brain rewires.