Why it's important to say "I don't eat that"

I was at an event last night where sugary treats were offered.

I work as a public speaker so this happens a lot. This year is the 200th anniversary of the state of Illinois, and since I give a talk related to Illinois history, I've had the honor of speaking at a number of museums and historical societies about some of the remarkable people from this state.

And often afterwards, there is cake.

Last night, when someone offered me a slice for the umpteenth time, I used a phrase I've never used before:

"Oh, no thanks. I don't eat sugar."

That's not what I've been saying. For the past two years, since I started trying to kick sugar and flour, I've been saying things like, "Thanks but I had a big dinner, I'm stuffed" or "it looks great but I'm cutting back on desserts." I've even accepted treats saying I'll eat them later at home (then thrown them out -- I can accept the kindness of their gift without having to accept the sugar).

But I've never been comfortable saying, "I don't eat that." Saying you're full, or saying you're dieting, that feels acceptable. People applaud you for dieting (sigh). There's something that feels different about saying "I don't eat sugar."

For me, it feels like I'm being superior or condescending -- "oh, you might eat that awful substance but superior people like me don't." I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, or make them think I think I'm better than them.

And OK, that's probably not a bad thing. It's not wrong to want people to feel comfortable. And really, there's nothing wrong with saying "thanks but I'm stuffed."

But maybe, now that I'm further in my journey, maybe that's why it's important I DO say "I don't eat that."

Driving home, I started thinking about how we don't judge people who say "Thanks, but I don't eat meat" if someone offers them a steak. We don't think people who say "thanks, I don't drink" when booze is being handed around are snobbish (at least, I don't -- those people are heroes and role models to me). Certainly, these days most people don't judge someone who says "I'm not a smoker" if someone offers them a cigarette.

So maybe what we say about sugar needs to change. Maybe that's why I SHOULD say "I'm not a sugar eater."

How can each one of us help contribute to a world where sugar isn't available nearly everywhere and where people are applauded for choosing spinach and apples over cake? Well, one way is to get out there and tell people "I don't eat sugar." Be a role model. Break away from the herd.

It's a good way to convince yourself that this part of your new identity. You're not "on a diet" -- you're a non-sugar-eater.

But even more importantly, I really believe that this is how cultural change happens. One by one. From the bottom up. The more people who start saying "I'm not a sugar eater," the more likely it is that this will become unremarkable, acceptable, and even applauded.

So that's my challenge for today. Whenever someone passes me a bread basket or offers me a cookie, I'm going to look them right in the eye and say "no thanks, I don't eat that."