20 Things I Can Do to Shift My Mood

Yesterday, I got really stressed out. A huge traffic jam delayed me. I forgot to go shopping for dinner ingredients. A family crisis happened.

When I was overeating regularly, at moments like this, I tended to think that the ONLY thing that would effectively calm me down and shift my mood from negative to positive was eating.

So today I'm challenging myself to come up with 20 non-food-related things that I know will shift my mood.

— Take a walk at a forest preserve and breathe in the smells of nature

— Play loud music and sing along at the top of your voice

— Take a bath with candles lit and soft music playing

— Go through knitting magazines and pick out a new project

— Go through catalogs and shop for upcoming birthday or holiday presents

— Give yourself a pedicure or manicure

— Get a massage

— Go to the library and pick out a trashy fun novel

— Buy yourself a pretty new lipstick

— Take the dogs on a long walk or to the park

— Clean out one drawer or cabinet in the house

— Make a list of your favorite movies and watch one of them

— Find a new yoga workout on DVD or online and do it

— Wash and vacuum out your car

— Dab lavender oil on palms and breathe deeply

— Pick up some flowers with a lovely scent

— Go to a bath-products store and try out new scents of body lotions

— Get physically comfy — put on super-soft pajamas and socks, wrap up in a big blanket — and curl up under the covers in a dark room

— Get on Pinterest and create a board of things that make you feel peaceful and happy

— Send quick emails to three friends remembering a happy memory you shared with them

And BAM! There it is. Proof that you don’t need food to calm and comfort yourself.

Next time something happens where I know I need to shift out of a negative mood, I’m going to challenge myself to do one — or two, or five — of the things on this list.

Abstinent Treats Part Two: Why You Need to Treat Yourself

My previous post was about how you can use daily treats as a tool to reward yourself for daily practice. In my view, abstinent treats are an important, much-needed pat on the back for the hard work of daily abstinent accomplishments.

But there's also another way you can use abstinent treats.

When you were over-eating, you probably had days when a co-worker pissed you off, or your sister-in-law said something nasty, or your kid screamed at you, and your first instinct was to eat over it. You also probably had days were something went awesome -- a work promotion! a graduation! birthday! The weekend! Tuesday night! -- and you ate over that as well.

Us over-eaters tended to use food as our "special treat" whenever we needed a little boost.

Obviously, if you're recovering from over-eating, you don't want to keep doing this. Numbing yourself out with food and drowning your emotions isn't healthy, either for your body or your mind. You need to develop new, healthful ways to bring joy and peace and happiness to your life.

And this is where abstinent treats can also be a powerful tool.

The same abstinent treats you might use as gold stars and pats on the back for daily practice, also work to help ANY time you are getting through something that stirs up big emotions.

Again, there are a few basic ground rules:

1. Do it even if you think it won't work.

I had a friend once say "nothing else gives me any joy but food." That's exactly why she needed to reward herself with abstinent treats.

Our brains are remarkably open to rewiring. You can rewire your brain so that when something emotional hits, it starts to crave something besides food.

Think of this as training your brain to crave healthy treats -- things that genuinely soothe you, rather than just numb out the emotions. Many of us turned to over-eating because we never really learned how to self-soothe and care for ourselves in any way but by using food. 

So … Have a nasty run-in with a co-worker? Go treat yourself to a sweaty intense work-out.

Celebrating your birthday? Splurge on a fancy massage at the local spa.

Got through a family potluck gathering without any of the sugar-y or snack-y foods that weren't part of your eating plan? Reward yourself with a new body cream in that fragrance you love.

Come home from a long day of work and errands? Treat yourself to cozy pjs and a great mindless romance movie.

These are things that are genuinely proven to soothe you and help you manage your emotions, rather than just drowning them out.

2. Do it even if it feels silly.

You might start to think "oh, come on, I don't need to treat myself to a cup of my favorite tea just because I got through my nephew's birthday party without eating any cake." 

Yes, actually, you do. You need to have that treat, and as you're having it say to yourself "this is my treat for getting through my nephew's birthday party without cake." 

I'm naturally introverted and getting through any big work-related networking event depletes me. So if I've got something like that on my calendar, I figure out a treat for myself once I get through it without eating off my food plan. "Once I get home from this event without having eaten anything, I get to spend 20 minutes soaking in a warm tub with my new bath oil."

Because if you've been an over-eating for a long time, getting through difficult event without over-eating is really, really hard to do. 

You need to explicitly pat yourself on the back for hard work in order for your brain to associate doing something like that with positive feelings, not deprivation. You need to reward yourself for doing something difficult.

3. It can't be food. It can't be food. It can't be food.

Obviously. And it also can't be alcohol or cigarettes or anything else that tends to numb you out rather than genuinely care for yourself. It has to be healthy and good for you.

4. It has to be special to you.

As with daily treats, it has to be joyful to you. If you hate massages, don't get a massage. If working out makes your skin crawl, don't do a workout. 

The idea isn't to force yourself to do a self-care activity that you hate. You're not trying to wrestle yourself into "I am soothing myself, dammit." 

What you're trying to do is to rewire your brain to immediately look for something pleasurable and soothing and happy when your emotions are going haywire.

Because I'm not eating sugar and flour today ...

When you stop eating crap, it's a negative. You've removed something. But you've also added a lot. You've freed up your brainpower, your energy, your health.

Sometimes it helps me to step back and notice all the little things I'm doing today because I'm not messing up my brain with sugar and flour.

So here's today's challenge:

Finish this sentence:

Because I'm not eating sugar and flour today, I ...

• got everything on my to-do list finished by 11 a.m.
• returned all my work emails quickly and without a lot of stress
• finished an essay that has been hanging over my head for a few weeks
• packed up and mailed off to a consignment store clothes that no longer fit me (WIN!)
• decluttered and tidied up a lot of papers around the house that have been piling up
• took a long walk with my pugs and enjoyed the fresh fall air

Not actually me walking a pug. But in my mind, it totally is.

Every time you give up something, you add something to your life. In the case of sugar and flour, when you give them up, you add a LOT to your life.

We suck at giving ourselves credit

My niece, who I love to pieces, was in town yesterday so my mother and I took her out to dinner. We wanted to go somewhere special, so we picked a fondue place. She’d never had fondue before — and I knew they’d have lots of veggies and meat — so it seemed a great pick.

And yet, even after doing Bright Line Eating for months, I still had thoughts running through my brain as I was driving there, “Should I have a glass of wine with dinner, just one?” “Should I have a few bits of bread in the cheese, if I don’t eat any of the chocolate?” “Should I just try the chocolate — how often do you have fondue?”

Arrrrgggggh!

Come on, I wanted to scream. Stop with the damn food thoughts.

This soon escalated into, “why am I still having these thoughts? What is the matter with me? Why can’t I just commit to no sugar and no flour and stay with it? I am NEVER going to reach my weight goals. I am NEVER going to be able to do this.” All I can think about is how far I still have to go.

Yeah, I need to give myself a break.

It’s normal. The problem with focusing on how far I still have to go, is that it keeps me from seeing how far I’ve come.

Honestly, I suck at giving myself credit for the things I’ve achieved in BLE. Sigh.

Here is what I’ve accomplished:

— I can now go 4-6 hours pretty easily without overwhelming hunger. When I get up in the morning, I’m not ravenously hungry and it’s easy to wait until 7 for breakfast. For my first six months trying to do BLE, the hunger was nearly constant and interfered with my life. Looking back at my journal, I was usually hungry within 1-2 hours after a meal. For months.

— I no longer crave dessert after lunch and after dinner. It rarely even occurs to me. I went most of my life with a constant, everyday dessert habit so this is a massive change.

— Fresh vegetables now taste delicious. When I think of what I’d like for dinner, the meals that pop into my head are the ones with lots of veggies. Never thought that’d be possible.

— I've learned to love tons of new kinds of veggies, like roasted broccoli and grilled corn and crunchy fresh cabbage. I used to only eat carrots, sugar-snap peas and bell peppers — and then, only rarely.

— I've gotten into a regular meditation practice. I actually lookforward to it and do 10-20 minutes of meditation daily

— I notice little things throughout the day to be grateful for. Knowing that I will be writing down 3 gratitudes every night keeps me aware of them during the day. It’s a huge thought-process change.

— I'm giving my body nutrients it needs to be healthy and strong. Giving myself the gift of a longer life and a greater possibility of avoiding diseases that often hit people whose diet is heavily in sugar, flour, and processed foods.

— I've saved a ton of money by packing my own lunch (and even dinner) regularly rather than grabbing a restaurant meal.

I’ve come far since October 2016. So I’m giving myself credit for all these achievements. Yes, I still have a long way to go. And yes, I'm still strugging to get squeaky clean bright lines every day. But I’ve come pretty far and that deserves a little pat on the back.

Inspirational self-love quote for the day

Be the love you never received.
-- Rune Lazuli

Inspirational self-love quote for the day

It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make your happiness a priority. It's a necessity.
-- Mandy Hale

Inspirational self-love quote for the day

You can't hate yourself happy. You can't criticize yourself thin. You can't shame yourself worthy. Real change begins with self-love and self-care.
-- Jessica Ortner