3 Things I’m Doing to Reduce Stress

Yesterday, I got caught in a major traffic jam. There was construction, and a drive that should have taken about 50 minutes (stressful enough) ended up taking 90 minutes (major stress). I came home with a brain screaming, “Food! For heaven’s sake, get me food.”

Clearly, stress is not good for my program. For me to succeed In my food recovery, I have to reduce my stress wherever possible.

So here’s my plan the next time I get stuck in a raging traffic jam. This comes from research — not mine, but scientists. I’m adapting their suggestions to my traffic stress:

1) Be Grateful.

Heaps of studies show that a lack of gratitude contributes to stress and depression. And, conversely, people with more gratitude experience lower levels of stress.

Whenever I’m stuck in traffic and my stress rises, I will challenge myself to think of three things I’m grateful for at this moment. The blue sky, enough gas in the tank, a safe car, whatever. Maybe I’ll try to think up ten. Or twenty. There are always things to be grateful for.

2) Change Your Thoughts.

Our brains can only focus on one thing at a time. You can refocus your thoughts onto those with less stress.

So, I will challenge myself to think of three ways this stressful situation is actually a good situation to have: It lets me catch up on more of an audiobook, it lets me practice being kind to fellow drivers, it lets me learn how to handle stressful traffic better!

3) Learn to Relax.

It’s a cliche, but doing something relaxing is proven to reduce stress. Fresh air and breathing are big ones for me.

So, I will challenge myself to open a window and let fresh air in. I will breathe it in.

I will practice my 7-11 breathing (breathe in on a count of 7, breathe out on a count of 11).

These three things — gratitude, changed thinking patterns, and relaxation techniques — have been proven by science. If scientists say they work, that’s reason enough for me to try them.

Disclaimer: This site is not officially affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

My addictive brain is a screaming toddler at night

On Day 10 of my current BLE streak, and I’ve noticed something.

First, evenings are the worst for me. Yeah, I know, like everyone. If I’m home at night, the hours between the end of dinner and bedtime are torture. It’s the “witching hour” for me.

My addictive brain goes ballistic. It just keeps nagging and nagging and nagging. Clearly, I’m not hungry, I just ate dinner and have no physical signs of hunger. But my brain keep saying, “eat, eat, eat.”

And I know why it happens. It happens because my addictive brain is a screaming toddler.

In my 18 months of relapsing and resuming, I have most often relapsed in the witching hour. That’s when I tend to give in.

It is only after going through this for months that I’ve realized — or learned, deep down in side — that my addictive brain is like a screaming toddler. Not just because it. Will. Not. Shut. Up. But because every time I give in, it gets worse.

It is just like if you are at a supermarket and your toddler wants a cookie. Doesn’t just want a cookie, but screams and cries for a cookie.

If you give in once, the crying will stop and you’ll have peace short-term, at that moment. But you better believe that from now on, whenever you are with your toddler near the cookie display, your toddler is going to scream and cry. In the long-term, you’re going to have a lot more screaming and crying. A lot more.

You have three options:

(1) Give in every time. This ensures your child will comes to adore cookies. Bad eating habits, health problems in the future, maybe obesity and obesity-related diseases.

(2) Give in occasionally. This ensures the screaming and crying will get worse and worse and worse. It ensures that the toddler will become obsessed with screaming and crying, in hopes that this will be a visit where you break down.

(3) Never give in. This means you’ll have to endure screaming and crying short-term but it WILL lessen. When your toddler realizes you never give in, the point of screaming and crying goes away. It doesn’t work. It never works. So there’s no real point. This is the hardest option but also the one that has the greatest potential to get you to your goal of a child with healthful eating habits and a healthy future.

Clearly, number 3 is the way to go. But it means enduring a lot of distress and upset and anger in the short term. That’s just how it works.

When it’s a half-hour after dinner and my addictive brain turns into a screaming toddler, I just have to take a deep breath and remind myself I have the same three options:

1) Give in and eat. This ensures I’ll struggle more to get to my weight and food goals.
2) Give in occasionally. This ensures my addictive brain will get louder, more annoying, more upsetting.
3) Never give in. This means I’ll have to put up with the addictive voice for a while, but WILL settle down and eventually go away for the most part, or at least, to a bearable extent.

Every single time I give in, I make the screaming get worse. Every single time I don’t give in, I’m one step closer to making the screaming stop.

Disclaimer: This site is not officially affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

The Truth About BLE Success and Why You're Not Achieving It

An article popped up in my inbox the other day related to success in general. It was titled "The Ugly Truth About Success and Why You're Not Achieving It."

Reading it, I found myself wondering if the ideas could be applied to my Bright Line Eating. I started trying to convert the ideas to my thinking about BLE -- and whoa, they applied really well.

 So today's blog is my attempt to convert that article's brilliant ideas about success specifically to my challenges with Bright Line Eating. Here goes:

Humans have an amazing ability to overcomplicate things. We have big dreams, but we make achieving those dreams overly complex. Soon we find that we're not succeeding, even though we still have the dreams.

Fortunately, there are three big mistakes that tend to mess up people's success. Once you're aware of these mistakes, you can shift your progress and make success more achievable. Success actually isn't that hard, if you avoid these three mistakes:

(1) You don't stick to the plan long enough.

There's a reason why some Bright Line Eaters get bracelets that say "FTFP," for "follow the fucking plan." We live in a world that adores immediate results. Pat a lotion on your skin -- ta da -- bags and wrinkles gone. Wrap yourself in aluminum pants -- ta da -- skinny legs. Tap an order into your computer -- ta da -- dinner delivered right to your door.

This happens all the time with commercial weight-loss programs. Fad diets succeed because people fall into the "immediate results" trap. We want big weight loss results in quick time. And with little effort.

The reality, though, is that achieving a big dream takes time and effort. Getting a college degree. Starting your own business. Writing a novel. Many people dream of these things but don't succeed, not because they don't have the potential or ability. Because they give up too soon.

BLE is like this. Even if you have great success during the boot camp, for many people (maybe most), getting to goal weight requires sticking with it for a period of time. Those who succeed don't necessarily have more ability or willpower or strength than those who don't. They tend to be those who stay the course.

When you read biographies of successful individuals, you often find this same motif motif: they made a plan and stuck to it. People who achieve great things are consistent and are patient with the time it takes to let the results happen.

(2) You stop believing in yourself.

This is tied up with number one, but it's slightly different. People who live out and embody their dreams never lose faith in their ability to succeed.

If you're struggling with keeping your bright lines, it's likely you've encountered this. When your addictive brain just won't shut up, when you're struggling with avoiding the pantry every day, when you find it hard to pass by the fast-food place on your way home, it can be tempting to just decide you can't do it.

Losing faith in your ability to do Bright Line Eating can tempt you to quit when in reality, a little shot of faith could mean getting where you want to go.

There's no magic bullet for learning to believe in yourself. But anything you can do to increase your faith in yourself can help:

Read inspirational books. Put Post-Its with inspiring quotes around your house. Follow positive message boards on Pinterest. Talk with success BLE-ers to remind youself of how many people do success with this. Set an alarm clock on your phone to deliver motivational quotes. Sign up for an inspirational quote to be delivered to your email inbox daily. Pray. Repeat mantras. Believe, believe, believe.

There's a reason self-help gurus recommend sticking inspirational Post-Its on your bathroom mirror. Mantras work. They can shift your brain into a state of believing in yourself.

(3) You don't seek out the roads that have been pre-paved by others

This one comes from a powerful quote by motivational speaker Tony Robbins: "Success leaves traces."

When you're trying to succeed at anything, look for the pathways others have laid down. Find others who have traveled to where you want to go, and follow their path.

In BLE, we have a smooth, nicely paved roadway laid down by Susan and so many others who have followed this type of food plan and eating program. Many thousands have traveled down this road. Many, many more have recovered from addictions of all kinds. And they leave pathways.

This is why Susan recommends finding someone with really strong bright lines to be your buddy if you are faltering and relapsing frequently. A successful BLE-er can be your guide, sitting in the passenger seat of your BLE car and pointing out the potholes you're likely to run into on your Bright Line journey or the exits you'll be tempted to take.

There are other pre-paved paths you can look for. The online support community is one. Podcasts, blogs, and books by Bright Line Eaters or anyone in an addiction recovery program are others.

I've found huge inspiration reading sober blogs by those in alcohol recovery, and I don't have trouble changing "alcohol" to "food" as I'm reading. The roadblocks people in sobriety encountered tend to be the same roadblocks I encounter as I'm trying to stick to Bright Line Eating.

If I follow the path that a previous successful BLE-er took, I'm more likely to get where they are -- where I want to go.

So. If you're having trouble sticking to your bright lines, be aware that it takes persistence and belief in yourself. And following a pathway already laid out by others can make your journey much easier.

If you want to read the original article, it is by Luis Congdon, published on the website addicted2success on Aug 18 2017, titled "The Ugly Truth About Success and Why You're Not Achieving it. You can find it HERE.

Disclaimer: This site is not officially affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

Self-Care Idea: The Pregnancy Principle

Why is it so hard for many of us to practice self-care?

Maybe there’s something about people who turn to food that makes us want to take care of others before ourselves. All. The. Frigging. Time.

One of the most life-changing things about doing BLE is that you almost have to learn to practice self-care. You have to eliminate anything that feeds the driving need to pick up food.

As I’ve been struggling over and over to resume, I came across a super helpful article by a sober blogger about how to take care of yourself in the early days of recovery process. It’s by Laura McKowen and called the “Pregnancy Principle.” (I’ll link to the article below).

She’s talking about the early days of alcohol sobriety, but the idea works just as well for thinking about the early days of a serious BLE resume. (In reading her article, I just substituted "food" whenever she says "alcohol.")

The idea is this: Imagine how you would take care of yourself if you were pregnant. When your well-being comes first. No one asks a pregnant woman why she's being careful with her energy and her time. At this hard time in your life, you too can -- must -- be unapologetically selfish with your energy and your time.

No one would ask a pregnant woman to attend an event when she’s feeling tired. No one would think twice if a pregnant woman needed to eat a special way. Or go to bed at 7:30. Or avoid any situation other than what she absolutely must attend.

This doesn’t mean you actually tell people you’re pregnant. That’s not what it’s about.

It’s about how you treat yourself. Strip out everything that’s inessential and treat yourself with loving care.

Start saying no a lot. Cut back. Go to bed early. Stop answering every text right right away. If you don't want to host a birthday party in your house because you don't want cake there, don't do it. If you have family over for dinner, don't feel like you have to serve them pizza. And don't apologize for anything. Be unapologetically selfish with your time.

I’m not explaining it nearly as well as Laura does, so read the article yourself.

My point is just that getting your bright lines back is really hard work. It takes energy and focus, and to do it well you have to take exceptionally, selfishly good care of yourself.

You can read Laura’s article on her blog HERE.

Self-Care Idea: BLE Treats

One trick I’ve been tried lately is borrowed from a terrific sober blogger named Belle Robertson who blogs at tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com

Belle recommends to her readers with drinking problems that for every day, or two days, or whatever, that you are sober, you give yourself a sober treat. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it has to a little special and it has to not be, duh, booze.

I love this idea for BLE.  It gives you a positive incentive to keep your bright lines. And, bonus, it teaches you how to treat yourself in ways that don’t involve your addictive-substance-of-choice.

As I resume BLE, I’ve been trying this myself. For every day I have clean bright lines, I get a little treat. I’ve got a list of them going:

— A new lipstick or tinted lip balm
— A few fresh flowers
— New flavor seltzer water
— Scented votive candle
— Scented body lotion
— New essential oil
— Car wash
— Pretty or fun mug with inspirational message
— Fun magazine
— Sunday newspaper (I don’t normally get this)
— Really good take-out coffee (I still drink coffee)

When I hit a big milestone (7 days, 14 days, 30 days), I give myself a bigger treat
— New outfit
— Pedicure
— Massage
—Eyebrows/lip wax (yowch but oh-so-pretty)
— New earrings
— Super-comfy pajamas

I’m no scientist, but to me the idea of sober treats seems valuable.

For one thing, as you are getting yourself your treat, you say explicitly to yourself, ‘this is my treat for having squeaky-clean bright lines.’ That trains your brain that something positive, something warm-and-fuzzy, something that feels really good, comes after doing the thing.

Like a dog, my brain wants more good feelings, and I hope will continue to associate bright line eating with good feelings.

The other thing I hope it is doing is training your brain to think of things besides food when it wants a treat.

So going forward, when you have a stressful day or when you want to celebrate something, your brain won’t automatically think of food. It will think of something equally special but not harmful to you.

Disclaimer: This site is not officially affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

Do I Have to Be a Food Addict to Do BLE?

In talking with other folks doing Bright Line Eating, I've had a few question whether they are food addicts are not.

Personally, I find it helpful to think of myself as a food addict. It makes my issues feel serious enough that I'm willing to take BLE seriously. 

It makes me handle questions about food, sugar, flour, alcohol, and snacks, very very carefully, like I might handle a gun. It's that serious and that important to me.

But I get it. I get why people resist the word "addict." It carries an unfortunate stigma.

And I agree with Susan when she says that you don't have to be a food addict for BLE to work for you.

My mother essentially eats this way all her own, without following BLE or any other plan, simply because it's the food she prefers and the way she likes to eat.

So, no, I don't think anyone has to be (or even think of themselves) as a food addict to do BLE.

The only thing I might quietly suggest is this. If you find it hard to give up sugar and flour, that might be a sign.

 If the way you eat is getting in the way of how you want to live your life, that might be a sign too.

Disclaimer: This site is not officially affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.

You Have to Do the Work — and It’s Hard

Sometimes, this work gets hard.

Doing everything on my nightly checklist is a drag.

 Ugh, all that reading inspiring things and taking time to meditate.
Having to come up with gratitudes!

Remembering to listen to a podcast (something new I’ve added to my nightly checklist).

Even worse, even harder, is having to stick to my bright lines. Having to not open the pantry door when it’s 8:30 and the urge is strong. Eating hamburgers without buns. Saying no to rolls at dinner. Turning things down over and over when at a party or a dinner out.

Last week, I unexpectedly had to drive home later than I’d expected. The drive began at 10:30 p.m. and took 2 hours. I’d eaten dinner at 5 and the hunger was extreme. Not to mention the stress of knowing I’d be tired tomorrow — and I was annoyed that I’d been delayed so long.

But those are the moments. That’s when the rubber hits the road. For BLE to work, you have to do the work. You just have to.

It’s not always easy. Heck, often it’s downright hard. You still have to do it. Just follow the f-ing plan. Don’t make a U-turn and go back to the beginning.

You have to do the work, and it’s hard.

Disclaimer: This site is not officially affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.