Stressed? Here's why sugar won't help

Imagine this: You got little sleep last night. You worked a full day, argued with a co-worker and got criticized by your boss. You haven't cleaned your house in a while.

What's the first thing you do when the workday ends?

Yeah, I hear ya. If you're anything like me, the first thing you want to do is tear into the pantry and grab something really tasty. And by tasty, I mean packed with sugar and flour. It's the delicious cure-all. The one thing guaranteed to calm you down and it always works.

Except that it doesn't. Not anymore.

That's pretty much the way it works with almost anything we use repeatedly to alleviate discomfort and pain. It could be alcohol. Or cigarettes. Or opioids. For a while, it works great. That's why you keep doing it.

But then, it starts taking away from you. With food, it takes away your stamina, your energy, your clothes, your self-pride, your confidence, your health. It can take away your limbs and even your life.

So how do you get yourself to really believe that sugar and flour don’t in fact work to relieve stress?

Lately I have been working to reframe my beliefs. Take a simple statement: "Food relieves stress and anxiety and calms me down."

Now, sit with that statement and start to question it. WHY do I believe this is true? And is it, really, deep down, true?

This makes the picture start coming into focus better. Sure sugar and flour might give me a brief, temporary moment of relief. But then it gives me shame, self-disgust, self-anger, low energy, headaches, clothes that don't fit.

It doesn’t really help me deal with the stress. It just numbs me out and distracts me from it. Afterwards, the cause of the stress is still there: the fatigue, messy house, anger at co-worker. Now I have just added shame and regret to it.

What REALLY relieves stress? Dealing with whatever is causing the stress.

Tired? You need to take a nap or get to bed early.

Upset at being criticized? Maybe this is your chance to learn ways to separate your inherent self-worth from the work that’s being criticized or ways to accept productive criticism in a useful and not destructive way.

Arguing with a co-worker? Maybe you need to develop skills so you can handle conflicts without destroying yourself.

Messy house? Maybe it's time to hire a housecleaning service, or make a plan to get better help from other family members, or make a schedule so you can tackle a little bit daily and it doesn't overwhelm you.

You get the idea. Deal with the cause of the stress, rather than drowning it in food.

Sugar and flour not only don't get at the underlying cause of your stress, they actually distract you from what you need to do to address that underlying cause.

The way to get rid of stress is to deal with what's causing it.

Address the stress, rather than burying it with food.