So last night, I ate. And ate and ate and ate. First, I ate my prepped and pre-planned healthy meal. Then healthy stuff I had not planned. Then borderline-healthy stuff that was close to crap as I could possibly get. I ate until I felt ill.
It’s no big secret what caused it. It’s been a busy spring for me, without a single full day off in about 11 weeks. There were a few days where I had to drive 2 hours each way to gigs. I’m in the car on average 4 hours a day, often in rush hour traffic or, ugh, construction.
All day yesterday, I was in full-on “OMG I have to eat right now” mode. Every food store was singing to me. Restaurants were unbearable to pass. I drove past a bakery and almost had a meltdown.
By which I mean: I knew this was coming. My body was screaming at me — enough enough enough. I am strung-out and worn-out. I want to eat and I want to eat now.
When I was standing in front of the pantry, reaching for the bag of non-food, there was not a single thought of my emergency action plan (EAP) in mind (the plan of what to do if temptation hits. I even keep a copy of it in my wallet: Call a friend, take a walk, journal, meditate, take a bath with candles and spa music.)
It didn’t work for me for the same reason it has almost never worked for me. At the moment I was standing in front of the pantry, it was too late. I was already over the edge and gone. Nothing was going to make me reach for emergency action plan, much less reach for the phone, by that point. In fact, it didn’t even occur to me to look at it.
Listening to coaching calls from other Bright Line Eaters, you often hear the same thing. It often doesn't even occur to people to look at their EAP when they are in the moment.
That got me thinking. Maybe "in the moment” is too late. Maybe the time to intervene was earlier. Maybe I should have intervened in the days when I first started feeling the tiniest bit tired.
It didn’t happen, and so the exhaustion continued and the stress just built. Day by day, stressor by stressor, until on about day 5, I snapped. On the “I need to eat and I need to eat now” meter that goes from 1 to 10, I was at 11.
Maybe if we can recognize when we are in “pre-slip” or “pre-binge” or “pre-relapse” mode, when we’re at a 2 or a 3 or a 5, maybe that is a better time to step in.
And, really, it’s not that hard to recognize when it's happening.
Here are some easy steps to recognize when you are in "pre-bright-line-break" or "pre-break" or “pre-relapse” mode:
1) You stop using all your tools consistently. “
I’m too busy today to meditate." "It won’t hurt to skip just one day.” “I’m just bugging her calling her every day.” "I'm too tired to write in my gratitude journal tonight."
2) You let in little slips to your meal plan.
Not full-on binges, just a few little bites. “I’m just going to eat a few almonds to take the edge off my hunger.” “A few extra ounces of fruit won’t hurt.” “It’s the end of the salad dressing anyway, I should just use it up.” Little slips open the door.
3) You are having a lot more thoughts about food.
You're more aware of the fast food places you drive past. You think more about what you're going to have for dinner. You daydream about treats.
4) You feel overwhelmed.
This is the big one. You start thinking “It’s too much work.” “I am exhausted.” “Why is this so hard?” It doesn’t even have to be that you're overwhelmed about food. It can just be about life — about the diapers piling up or the emails that won’t stop or the people constantly begging for your attention or the rush-hour traffic.
That is when you need to snap to attention. Intervene now. Stop the nonsense before it builds into a break in your food plan or a full-on binge.
Coming up next: How to create a pre-emergency emergency action plan to head off a bright line break or food relapse.
[Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The ideas expressed here are my own.]
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