How to roast veggies

Operation Resume day 8 completed. Treat to self: a Noga dress from Duluth Trading Co.

Learning to love vegetables is key. Key key key. Key to healthy living, key to losing weight, key to a long life.

I’ve never liked most vegetables, and when I first started healthy eating, I just stuck to my favorites — raw bell peppers, carrots, sugar snap peas, spinach salad. Yawn.

It was only when I started roasted vegetables that I started to love cooked vegetables. But it’s hard to get the right crispiness and avoid the soggy mush.

This guide, by Justina Huddleston from the website She Knows, has been indispensable:

http://www.sheknows.com/food-and-recipes/articles/1119715/veggie-roasting-tips [Image by Natalie Cosgrove]

Print it out, post it on your fridge, use it. It’s changed my veggie-loving lifestyle.

8 great ways to screw up your healthy eating plan

Adapting to a no-sugar, no-flour, no-snack lifestyle is a marathon, not a sprint. If you keep relapsing, it might help to pay attention to the moments when you trip up. What actions or beliefs contributed?

Here are the most likely culprits that have tripped me up in the past:

1. Believing that I only have a real problem with one substance (e.g. sugar) so I can continue to use others (e.g. flour) to get me through.

2. Thinking it will be easier to just moderate my eating, rather than giving up sugar and flour entirely. For me, abstinence is much easier than moderation. It’s taken me a long time to really believe this.

3. Continuing to ignore how much any deviation from my food plan hurts my progress. I know that no-sugar/no-flour/no-snacking momentum is hard to achieve, but my brain tells me it's easy to do so it’s OK to have “just one bite.”

4. Expecting that I can just do healthy eating for a while, till I get my weight down, and then I can go back to "normal" eating. There is nothing normal about eating tons of sugar/flour and very little produce. Freedom from food issues is a permanent lifestyle change.

5. Taking little or no responsibility for my own recovery. I have a tendency to get mad that phone calls and food buddies aren't the best supports for me. It's up to me to try lots of things and find the supports that do.

6. Believing that therapy will "cure" my food issues. Therapy is a life-changing, empowering process that can be transformational in your food journey, but it didn't make me magically, suddenly never want to eat addictively again. Therapy is one tool among many others.

7. Expecting that my experience will be the same as others. Successful people can provide helpful roadmaps and guidance, but I can’t expect my journey to be exactly like theirs. My journey is my own and it will be unique to me. That's normal and it's fine.

8. Believing that I can skimp on serious self-care. I absolutely must make self-care (saying no, taking time for myself, taking naps, going to bed early, enjoying free time to read or walk in the woods, taking warm baths and meeting with friends) my top priority in my tool kit. Extreme self-care is the number one thing I do to heal my food issues.

These beliefs are very seductive and have pulled me in over and over again. Giving up these beliefs is my daily practice.

Recovery expectations versus reality

Day 6 of current resume completed. Treat: Magazine with cover story on royal wedding

In a food recovery journey, it sometimes feels like everyone else is having a much easier time.

But actually, most people’s food recovery journeys are filled with U-turns and wrong directions and resuming and misdirections.

 This great illustration sums it up perfectly:

I found it HERE.

.

You mean some people don’t think about food all the time?

Day five of operation resume completed. Treat to self: Sundress

I was at a minor league baseball game yesterday, an event that used to be all about food for me. Which yummy food should I get? Would anyone notice if I leave too often to get food? Would anyone notice if I ate too much?

This time, I packed my dinner, ate it before the 6 p.m. start time, and was done.

Which means not just that I stuck to my food plan (yay! Big win!) but also that  I had time to observe the others in my group. My husband especially. He loves ballpark food. But he doesn’t love it.

Which means, he doesn’t think about it before and during an event. There’s no worry or planning. He picks what he likes, eats it and is done eating. If he’s full before he finishes it, no matter how yummy it is, he’ll stop.

In many ways, it reminded me of how I am with most Bright-Line-Eating foods. I love bell peppers, but I don’t love bell peppers. I’ve never hidden bell pepper rinds in my car so my husband wouldn’t know how many I ate. If I was craving some but they weren’t on my food plan today, I wouldn’t obsess about them all day. If I didn’t have any in the house, I wouldn’t run to the grocery store at 11 p.m. to buy more. I love them but I don’t think about them all the time.

A BLE friend of mine said much the same thing. She too used to think about sugary/floury food all the time. She too was shocked to realize there are people who can have sugary treats in the house and not think about them all the time.

It was a powerful reminder. There are people who just don’t think about food all the time.

I want all my food to be bell peppers. I don’t want food in my life that makes me crazy nuts. If I’m obsessing about it, fixating on it, thinking about it all the time, it’s not for me.

Plus, to add to the win, I just proved to myself that I can make it through a tough event without eating. Baseball isn’t my thing. It was a hot day. It came at the end of a very full day. I was tired from not getting 5 hours sleep.

But I did it. And I know that the first time getting through a food-related event without food is a huge big massive win.

So I’m getting myself a bigger treat today. Because resuming BLE is really hard and I’m rocking it.

(Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Bright Line Eating Solutions or Susan Peirce Thompson)

How I am surviving a BLE Memorial Day

BLE resume day four completed. Treat to self for 4 clean days: Flavored decaf coffee K-cups

Holidays have been a major stumbling block for me on my Bright Line Eating Journey. So many of them focus on food, food, food.

The struggle to resume BLE has taught me any things, but more than anything it’s taught me that I must enjoy a holiday without eating off my food plan. And that it is perfectly possible to have a great time without eating.

So how am I celebrating one of the most iconic holiday weekends in the U.S. -- a holiday that launches not just summer but also tends to be all about barbecues and picnics?

Keep my commitment to BLE vividly in mind

When I go to a party, it’s super-easy to have thoughts like, “well, it’s a holiday” or “I can just start over tomorrow.” So I make a point of reminding myself before I leave the house — and keep in mind vividly while I am at the event — that I am doing BLE. And why I am doing it. BLE is my top priority.

Make a plan ahead of time

I plan what I am going to eat and how much, as I would do any day. I have plenty of options: I can eat before leaving home. I can call the host and ask exactly what will be served and write down a meal plan. I can bring my scale (few will notice and no one will care). I can bring a big BLE-friendly salad or fruit or veggie tray to share with everyone and measure my meal from that. I know what works for me, I make a plan and I stick to it.

Don’t go in alone

If it was my first Memorial Day, I'd bring a BLE friend with me, if possible. Or maybe just someone who eats healthfully and doesn’t overindulge. I can always bookend the occasion on social media — knowing I've promised to check in after the event is over reminds me to not let my promise go.

Be prepared that some people will not understand

Even my most understanding friends sometimes do things unintentionally that trigger me. They will say “helpful” things like, “Can’t you have just one?” or "You're on a diet, on a holiday?" This doesn’t mean they don’t love me or want me to be happy. It just means they are human. Everyone gets to live their own life their own way, and no one understands everyone else’s life.

Be firm

“No” is a complete sentence. So is “no thank you.” So is "I'm full." Any of these is all I need to say. I don’t need to explain myself.

Plan a treat for afterwards

I have in mind something to reward myself with once I complete the event successfully. I'll read a trashy magazine, pick up some flowers on the way home, have a cup of that special tea I love, take a bath with my favorite bath oil. Knowing there is a reward for keeping my bright lines makes me more likely to keep them.

Be prepared to distract yourself

If the going gets tough, I can always do something. Talk to the stranger who is sitting alone. Help do the dishes or clean up used plates. Take a walk. Play I Spy with the kids. Go to the bathroom and do some breathing exercises.

Have an exit strategy

I always have a plan in place for exiting if needed. I start to feel overwhelmed, I have permission to leave. I’ll arrive separately from my husband so we each have a car. Or I can take an Uber home. I can set an allotted “time to go”, so I know exactly how long I’ll be there. I am not required to stay at an event that is causing me stress.

Plans like these are key in surviving holidays with my bright lines squeaky clean.

[Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson.]

Operation Resume Day Three: I’m renaming my saboteur

Day three treat: scented hand soap

I finished day three with squeaky clean bright lines. Three days of food sobriety. And it feels good.

And oh boy howdy, was my saboteur howling at night. After dinner, I was home (a rarity for me — more often than not, I have a presentation booked for after dinner). 

The whole night, this nagging, complaining, never-letting-up voice was telling me it had to eat. Right now. Arrrgh.

And that got me thinking. I never know what to call that voice in my head that tells me to eat. “Saboteur” feels elegant and fancy-schmancy French, and my voice is more evil than that. "Sabby" sounds cute. “Addictive voice” feels abstract and not quite real. 

That voice in my head is not elegant or French or cute or abstract. It’s loud and persistent and nagging.

So I’m renaming it, using a brilliant idea suggested on the sober blog tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com. 

Belle Robertson, creator of that blog, calls her addictive voice ...  “Wolfie.” To me, that is perfect. Not only because it matches the nasty, loud side of that voice but because of the inspiring Cherokee legend that inspired it. 

Here’s a great version of the legend from the website of Dean Deyeong: 

“An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:

‘A fight is going on inside me,’ he said to the boy.

‘It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.’

He continued, ‘The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf will win?’

The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’”

[You can read Dean Deyeong’s version HERE ]

That’s exactly what my brain is when it’s in full food-addiction mode. It’s an angry, evil wolf. And it’s fighting the warm, nurturing side of me. I have to avoid feeding the angry wolfie — I have to avoid focusing on the thoughts it give me. I instead need to nurture and cherish the loving, kind, healthy, self-caring, non-addicitive wolf.

So I’m following Belle’s suggestion and calling my addictive brain “Wolfie.”

[You can find her blog at tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com . You can even get one of her badass “FU Wolfie” bracelets. (I have no affiliation with her, just love her ideas).]

Why day two is the hardest day of a BLE resume

Day two treat: car wash

Operation Resume: I finished my day 2 with squeaky clean bright lines. But wow, it was tough.

Day two, I’m realizing, is the hardest day of a resume for me. On day 1, I’m filled with enthusiasm and excitement. I’m doing this! I’m on! Let’s go!

But on day 2, the buzz has worn off a little bit. My brain has kicked in, realizing it didn’t get its “fix” yesterday. It starts telling me that I can just give in a little. It’s early in the journey. Just give in today and start the resume again tomorrow. Make tomorrow my day 1 — I won’t have lost any time.

I found myself yesterday at a banquet luncheon, waiting to begin my presentation. The lunch was served late and took forever. I wasn’t eating with everyone so that wasn’t a problem, but I was waiting for a long time. And I knew I had an evening program to get to next, in a town about 90 minutes away. My stress started to rise.

And — There was a table filled with delicious goodies. Right. There. By. Me. Super-easy to just swipe a few. No one would notice. I deserve it for having to wait so long. I’ll just start my resume all over tomorrow.

The struggle was real.

So here’s what I did:

1) I told myself that I never ever ever want to have another day 2 of BLE again. Day 2 sucks and I don’t ever want to do it again. Knowing I would have to document it here (admit it here) helped.

2) I moved away from the table, repeating the mantras, “that is poison to me” and “one bite means a hundred bites.” I focused on how I feel when I have binged out and reminded myself that lately I have been unable to do just a bite. It’s always a binge and it feels horrible horrible horrible.

3) I have committed to eat only meals I have prepared and brought with me for the next 23 days. I can do 23 days. It’s less than a month. These goodies will still exist after that. I can reassess after that.

4) I reminded myself that I have left extra time for travel. I set up 3 hours for my 90-minute drive. There was a big ole cushion. Even if the luncheon ran an hour late, I’m still OK.

And you know what? It was fine. I got through the struggle. I didn’t eat. Both of my presentations went well. I ate only the prepped and weighed food I’d packed and brought with me.

So on to day 3! I’ve got a two-day streak going now. Time to make it a 3-day streak.

[Disclaimer: I am not officially affiliated with Bright Line Eating Solutions or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions on this blog are my own.]

Operation Resume: Day One

I finished the first day of my Bright Line Eating resume with squeaky-clean bright lines. Woo hoo!

Trust me, I know enough now to know what an achievement that is.

Treat for a clean day one: A cup of real Starbucks coffee. OK, yes, it's a vice, but it's also been very hard for me to give up everything at once. I do much better when I ease out of things, gradually removing vices rather than going cold turkey all at once on everything. I think that's why I had such a hard time with Bright Line Eating in the bootcamp: giving up sugar AND flour AND snacks AND unlimited quantities AND alcohol AND coffee. It was too much and I felt overwhelmed and very stressed. So I'm still saving the coffee detox to when I get my sugar/flour/snack life cleaned up.

The treats, though, those are non-negotiable. I get myself a treat every day for the first 14 days that my bright lines are clean. After that, maybe every 2 days or whenever I get through a tough situation like a birthday party or a dinner with strangers. I wrote about the importance of BLE treats for me and the kinds of things I use HERE.

And as I get my treat, I specifically say to myself, "This is my treat for keeping my bright lines yesterday, because this stuff is hard and I am rocking it."

No idea why this works, but it does. As long as I remember to say that to myself.

My sometimes-not-too-smart brain responds well when I reward it for doing something hard.

And it helps me to remember that keeping bright lines is hard work. And that there are endless ways to reward myself that have nothing to do with food. Win, win, and win.

[Disclaimer: This site is not affiliated with Bright Line Eating Solutions or Susan Peirce Thompson. The ideas and opinions here my own.]

Operation Resume: What I’m Doing to Recover from a Relapse

Yep. It happened again. I relapsed this weekend. Ate a lot. I was tired, stressed, annoyed that I was working so hard and not losing as much weight as I wanted to.

Sigh.

But one of the things I’ve learned on this journey is that you. Do. Not. Stop. Other people have recovered and gotten where they want to go. So I’m mixing up my toolkit, recommitting and starting over.

Here’s my plan. And my commitment to keep it:

1) Add in new tool. 

Whenever I resume, I have to try different, not try harder. So I’m adding a new tool to my daily practice.

The new tool this time is a daily self-care practice. This will often take a time commitment but poor self-care is the number one thing that causes me to fall. Self-care = do a yoga routine, take a nap, sit outside with a cup of tea, take a bath, sing and dance along to an upbeat song, get a massage, get a pedicure, do a face mask.

(My other current tools: meditate daily, read something inspirational, listen to at least one sober-eating podcast or vlog, write in my gratitude journal, post at least once on this blog or on social media, stick to each of my four food plan goals — no sugar, no flour, 3 meals only, weigh all food.)

I've also signed up for another Bright Line Eating 14-day challenge.

I'm also, gulp, adding in a no-nuts rule. Nuts seem to stall my weight loss. And they trigger me. Dang it.

2) Surrender fully.

I’d convinced myself long ago that sugar is a no-go. One bite is never enough. One bite means a thousand bites. But I’ve always had trouble fully surrendering to my no-flour rule. No more. I surrender. No croutons on my salad. No beer or wine if it’s a special occasion.

I'm following the food plan laid out in Susan Peirce Thompson's Bright Line Eating plan.

3) Set a short-term time commitment.

On June 16, I leave for a festival in South Carolina. So that gives me a nice time frame. It’s 23 days between today and then. I’ll keep to my food plan (no sugar, no flour, 3 measured meals a day) for the next 23 days.

My brain has an easier time accepting surrender when it’s just for a temporary time frame. I’m not saying I WILL go back to croutons and beer (or anything else), I’m just saying that for the next 23 days, I’m sticking to the plan. I can do a complete surrender for 23 days. I’ll reassess after that.

I’m going to futureme.org right now and setting up a letter that will be delivered to me in 23 days giving me wild, crazy congratulations for doing this.

Day One of Operation Resume begins today!

Are you progressing or regressing?

I saw a quote the other day that really hit me:

"You either progress or regress. There is no 'gress.' "

Wow. Mind-blow moment. I've seen so many people who started strong with a no-sugar, no-flour food plan eventually give it up. And usually it's because they stop thinking they have to keep progressing.

I certainly did that. Hey, everything's going great! I don't have to keep on listening to new coaching calls (or reading new books about food science or trying new yoga classes or looking for people I can sponsor or learning about meditation techniques). Eating how I'm supposed to eat is a habit now.

So you rest on your laurels. You just do the basic things that worked for you in the beginning. You might even stop doing a few of them because, hey, everything's going fine! Right?

Nope. There's no end point on the journey. There's no "gress." There's only progress or regress.

The only way to keep yourself happy and free of food thoughts is to keep progressing. Sure, you might not need the same tools as you did in the first 30, 60, or 90 days. You don't necessarily need to do more. But you do have to keep working, learning, doing things, trying things, finding ways to learn and grow and help others.

Keep finding new ways to keep progressing. Or you will pick up the first bite of food.

Quick idea to help make sticking to your bright lines easier

Ever find yourself craving a little something when you sit down to watch TV? Or get in the car? Or the minute you come home from work?

I have so many situations that trigger food thoughts. If you always used to eat when you're in a certain situation, that can be a hard thing to change.

Here's a quick idea to help:

Change things up. Challenge yourself to change as much of your behavior around that habit as you can. Mix things up. Whatever used to be your habit, do things differently.

For example, let's say you struggle after walking in the front door after work. You've developed a habit of eating a little something right away when you get home.

Try this: drive home from work a different way. Come in a different door. Hang your coat in a different place. Do something different that's soothing or fun the minute you get home: put on your favorite cozy clothes, pick a new flower from the garden for your bedside vase, turn on your essential oil diffuser.

Or, let's try another situation. Let's say you always eat when you sit down at night in front of the TV. How much of that situation can you change?

Well, you could always do something else entirely. Make it a 30-day no-TV challenge. Read a great book, take a walk, soak in the tub, do a yoga video.

Or, completely change up your TV situation. Maybe rearrange the furniture, move the TV to a new location, sit in a different chair, make TV-time the time you paint your nails or give yourself a face mask or enjoy a new kind of tea.

Breaking up as many behaviors as are linked to that habit might just make changing that eating behavior easier.

Certainly worth a try, especially if you're struggling.

[Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson and the opinions on this blog are my own.]

My emergency action plan didn’t work. Here’s what does

The other day, I posted about why my emergency action plan (my plan for what to do when I’m about to eat food off my plan) never works.

At the moment where I’m standing in front of the fridge or the open cabinet, it’s too late. The train had left the station.

So here’s what I’m doing now. Instead of an “emergency action plan,” I’ve put together a pre-emergency emergency action plan. A PEEAP. This is my plan for what to do when the stress and overwhelm first begin, often a few days early, when the food thoughts pop into my head, when I first sense that I might be heading for break. This is when I’m at a 3 or 4 or 5 on my “I’m-gonna-eat” scale, rather than at a 9 or 10. Want to know what those first signs are? I wrote about them HERE.

My PEEAP consists of a list of tools I undertake to avert an emergency. It’s pretty particular to me since I know by now what my weak spots are.

First, get a really good, long sleep. Go to bed super early. Get 9 or 10 hours sleep, if possible. Sleep deprivation is a huge stressor for me and many of my food plan breaks happen when I’m lacking sleep.

That didn’t work? OK, on to the next tool.

Take a spa bath (candles, spa music, low lights, scented oil in tub).

That didn’t work?

Take a long walk out in nature, like a forest preserve.

That didn’t work?

Get yourself a treat for keeping to your food plan. Obviously, not a food treat. Treat yourself to fresh flowers, a new lipstick, a trashy magazine, anything special that you explicitly say is your treat for keeping to your food plan.

That didn’t work?

Make a list of everything you have to do and start cutting it down. What can you eliminate? What can you delegate? What can you do quickly to get it done and off your plate? Strive to get stuff off your plate and off your shoulders.

You get the idea. You just go from A to B to C to D and so on until you feel the stress start to ease.

Your list might be very different. Getting a good long sleep might not be an option. Calling a friend or sponsor might work for you.

The point is, get a PEEAP toolkit and at the first sign of trouble, starting ticking through them. Do as many as you need to do to head off an emergency.

Is your emergency action plan not working? This might be why

So last night, I ate. And ate and ate and ate. First, I ate my prepped and pre-planned healthy meal. Then healthy stuff I had not planned. Then borderline-healthy stuff that was close to crap as I could possibly get. I ate until I felt ill.

It’s no big secret what caused it. It’s been a busy spring for me, without a single full day off in about 11 weeks. There were a few days where I had to drive 2 hours each way to gigs. I’m in the car on average 4 hours a day, often in rush hour traffic or, ugh, construction.

All day yesterday, I was in full-on “OMG I have to eat right now” mode. Every food store was singing to me. Restaurants were unbearable to pass. I drove past a bakery and almost had a meltdown.

By which I mean: I knew this was coming. My body was screaming at me — enough enough enough. I am strung-out and worn-out. I want to eat and I want to eat now.

When I was standing in front of the pantry, reaching for the bag of non-food, there was not a single thought of my emergency action plan (EAP) in mind (the plan of what to do if temptation hits. I even keep a copy of it in my wallet: Call a friend, take a walk, journal, meditate, take a bath with candles and spa music.)

It didn’t work for me for the same reason it has almost never worked for me. At the moment I was standing in front of the pantry, it was too late. I was already over the edge and gone. Nothing was going to make me reach for emergency action plan, much less reach for the phone, by that point. In fact, it didn’t even occur to me to look at it.

Listening to coaching calls from other Bright Line Eaters, you often hear the same thing. It often doesn't even occur to people to look at their EAP when they are in the moment.

That got me thinking. Maybe "in the moment” is too late. Maybe the time to intervene was earlier. Maybe I should have intervened in the days when I first started feeling the tiniest bit tired.

It didn’t happen, and so the exhaustion continued and the stress just built. Day by day, stressor by stressor, until on about day 5, I snapped. On the “I need to eat and I need to eat now” meter that goes from 1 to 10, I was at 11.

Maybe if we can recognize when we are in “pre-slip” or “pre-binge” or “pre-relapse” mode, when we’re at a 2 or a 3 or a 5, maybe that is a better time to step in.

And, really, it’s not that hard to recognize when it's happening.

Here are some easy steps to recognize when you are in "pre-bright-line-break" or "pre-break" or “pre-relapse” mode:

1) You stop using all your tools consistently. “

I’m too busy today to meditate." "It won’t hurt to skip just one day.” “I’m just bugging her calling her every day.” "I'm too tired to write in my gratitude journal tonight."

2) You let in little slips to your meal plan. 

Not full-on binges, just a few little bites. “I’m just going to eat a few almonds to take the edge off my hunger.” “A few extra ounces of fruit won’t hurt.” “It’s the end of the salad dressing anyway, I should just use it up.” Little slips open the door.

3) You are having a lot more thoughts about food. 

You're more aware of the fast food places you drive past. You think more about what you're going to have for dinner. You daydream about treats.

4) You feel overwhelmed.

This is the big one. You start thinking “It’s too much work.” “I am exhausted.” “Why is this so hard?” It doesn’t even have to be that you're overwhelmed about food. It can just be about life — about the diapers piling up or the emails that won’t stop or the people constantly begging for your attention or the rush-hour traffic.

That is when you need to snap to attention. Intervene now. Stop the nonsense before it builds into a break in your food plan or a full-on binge.

Coming up next: How to create a pre-emergency emergency action plan to head off a bright line break or food relapse.

[Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The ideas expressed here are my own.]

Stressed? Here's why sugar won't help

Imagine this: You got little sleep last night. You worked a full day, argued with a co-worker and got criticized by your boss. You haven't cleaned your house in a while.

What's the first thing you do when the workday ends?

Yeah, I hear ya. If you're anything like me, the first thing you want to do is tear into the pantry and grab something really tasty. And by tasty, I mean packed with sugar and flour. It's the delicious cure-all. The one thing guaranteed to calm you down and it always works.

Except that it doesn't. Not anymore.

That's pretty much the way it works with almost anything we use repeatedly to alleviate discomfort and pain. It could be alcohol. Or cigarettes. Or opioids. For a while, it works great. That's why you keep doing it.

But then, it starts taking away from you. With food, it takes away your stamina, your energy, your clothes, your self-pride, your confidence, your health. It can take away your limbs and even your life.

So how do you get yourself to really believe that sugar and flour don’t in fact work to relieve stress?

Lately I have been working to reframe my beliefs. Take a simple statement: "Food relieves stress and anxiety and calms me down."

Now, sit with that statement and start to question it. WHY do I believe this is true? And is it, really, deep down, true?

This makes the picture start coming into focus better. Sure sugar and flour might give me a brief, temporary moment of relief. But then it gives me shame, self-disgust, self-anger, low energy, headaches, clothes that don't fit.

It doesn’t really help me deal with the stress. It just numbs me out and distracts me from it. Afterwards, the cause of the stress is still there: the fatigue, messy house, anger at co-worker. Now I have just added shame and regret to it.

What REALLY relieves stress? Dealing with whatever is causing the stress.

Tired? You need to take a nap or get to bed early.

Upset at being criticized? Maybe this is your chance to learn ways to separate your inherent self-worth from the work that’s being criticized or ways to accept productive criticism in a useful and not destructive way.

Arguing with a co-worker? Maybe you need to develop skills so you can handle conflicts without destroying yourself.

Messy house? Maybe it's time to hire a housecleaning service, or make a plan to get better help from other family members, or make a schedule so you can tackle a little bit daily and it doesn't overwhelm you.

You get the idea. Deal with the cause of the stress, rather than drowning it in food.

Sugar and flour not only don't get at the underlying cause of your stress, they actually distract you from what you need to do to address that underlying cause.

The way to get rid of stress is to deal with what's causing it.

Address the stress, rather than burying it with food.

20 simple ways to de-stress other than eating

Stress is just inevitable. And it is sooo tempting when it’s crept up and paralyzed you, to just reach for some food to calm down. Don’t go there. Eating just adds a problem to a problem.

Try one of these powerful de-stresses instead and make it your go-to.


Take a nap
Lie down in bed and shut your eyes. Just relax and shut out the world. You don’t actually have to fall sleep, although if you can fall asleep for 10-15 minutes, that's great.

Create something
Make some art, do some knitting, write a poem, work on a puzzle, do a few steps on that Pinterest project you’re working on. You get the satisfaction of creation, plus a few minutes to lose your self in the project.

Watch a funny video
Keep a watch list on You Tube or a stack of fun DVDs so you easily watch something fun when you need a break. I have a weakness for pugs and have a YouTube funny pug video watch list. When I’ve had a tough day, it is guaranteed to make me smile. Speaking of dogs ...

Cuddle with a dog
If you're a dog lover, sit for a few minutes brushing your dog or take your pup for a walk.

Tidy something up.
I keep a jar with slips of paper, each listing a quick tidying task that takes 10 minutes or less. Clean one pantry shelf, tidy one desk drawer, get rid of expired medicine in the bathroom cabinet. When you need to de-stress, pull one out and do it. Having a messy space tidied gives you a sense of accomplishment and a greater sense of calm.

Talk it out
When a heavy load of stress hits you, talking with a friend or family member can be what you need to work through it.

Plan a vacation
 If you haven’t had time off for a while, your mental health might need it. Take a few minutes and look around for fun things to do or great hotels for your next vacation.

Journal about it
Writing about whatever is stressing you out can help you work through it and ease the stress of it.

Stretch it out
Stretching is a proven de-stressor. Find a yoga routine on YouTube or YogaGlo or a DVD. Do a practice every day or whenever you feel tense.

Have a spa bath
There's a reason de-stress lists often include baths. They work. Make it a relaxing ritual by adding bath oil to the water, lowering the lights, and playing soft, relaxing music.

Crank up the tunes
Put on your headphones and play a few favorite  tunes while you dance around. Or lie down and let soothing music wash over you for ten minutes.

Do something for someone else
It can be as simple as finding 10 things in your house to give away to charity. Pay for someone else's coffee at the coffee shop. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or dog shelter. Doing good for others has a powerful uplifting effect

Cross things off your to-do list
Take 10 minutes and get something off your to-do list. You can do it, delegate it, or decide it’s not necessary to do it at all.

Connect with nature
Nature has been shown over and over to de-stress. Take a few minutes to walk outdoors, or sit outside with a cup of tea and just notice the earth around you.

Watch an episode of a favorite TV show
Get recommendations for really great TV shows that you can stream on Netflix or Amazon Prime. Watch an episode of a favorite one whenever you need to disconnect from the world

Read a great book
Losing yourself in a book can help you get out of your own mind. Find great books on GoodReads, ask a librarian or friends for recommendations, or just pull an old favorite off your shelf.

Get moving
Take a walk, go for a run, hit the gym. Breaking a sweat can help you work through your tension.

Indulge in self-care
Set up a space that is just for taking care of yourself. A cozy chair, some inspirational reading, meditation CDs, crystals, whatever works for you. Make it a ritual to spend 10-15 minutes there every day after you get home from work, or whenever stress hits.

Do something you’ve been putting off
Having an unpleasant task hanging over your head just adds to your stress. If you can do it in less than an hour, just do it. The relief you’ll feel from not having it hanging over your head? Totally worth it.

Make a gratitude list
Studies have shown over and over that grateful people are calmer and happier. Make a gratitude list. What went great today? Who in your life are you grateful for? List ten things you are grateful for. Make it 20.

How I Knew I Had to Quit Sugar and Flour

The one question people ask when I tell them I no longer eat sugar and flour is, "How did you know you had to quit? Wouldn't it be enough to just cut back?"

I understand. Moderation is what all the "experts" say is necessary to keep from feeling deprived. Moderation, they almost always say, is critical for weight-loss success.

And for someone in my situation, extreme measures didn't seem necessary. I was overweight -- more than just a little overweight -- but not obese on the healthy weight charts. I could still shop at department stores, and I didn't have diabetes.

But I did get to a point where I knew it was time to quit. How? Here's how I answer:

First of all, I had no idea whether or not quitting would "work." I still don't, not long-term. But I did know that after years of dieting and trying restraint and struggling to moderate, moderation didn't work. Not for me. I didn't know if quitting was actually necessary. But I was open to trying something new.

Even more than that, there were a lot of red flags that my behavior around sugar and flour wasn't normal. A lot of red flags. I can't point to one big incident of hitting rock bottom, but I do recall many little clues that built up over time. Here are the ones that come to mind:

1) You cannot "cut back" on sugar and flour long-term (you make a plan to eat sugar and flour only on one “cheat day” a week, you set a limit for how many treats you’ll eat, you eat these things only on special occasions — but none of that works consistently for the long term).

2) You cannot go one full day without eating sugar or flour. The thought of it is scary or unimaginable.

3) You wait until you're alone to eat sugar and flour (when you’re in the car, when someone else takes the dog out for a walk, etc.)

4) You hide wrappers and containers (in the car, in the bottom of the garbage can, etc.)

5) You hide extra food (in a special cabinet, above the refrigerator, in the garage, etc.)

6) You worry constantly about whether there was enough sugar and flour in the house (and whether others will eat it first)

7) You are constantly aware of sugar and flour at parties, receptions, get-togethers, and while there, you plan what and how much to have

8) You get upset when something disrupts your eating plans (when the dessert runs out before you get a piece, when the store doesn’t have the particular something you want)

9) You buy healthy food at the grocery store along with junk food so the clerk won't think you are only planning to eat the junk

10) You realize that these things are escalating

Anyone else have thoughts about the red flags that signaled to them it was time to live without sugar or without flour?

[This blog post was inspired by a June 2014 post from the sober blog "UnPickled" about living alcohol-free. You can read the original post HERE. ]

It’s Mother’s Day and we have brunch reservations. You know what that means....

Today is Mother’s Day and my husband and I are taking my mother to a fancy-schmancy brunch at the gorgeous botanic garden near her.

You know what that means ....

It means lunch today will be a meal like any other for me.

I will aim to eat 6 oz. of vegetables, 4 oz. of protein, 1 fat, and 6 oz. of fruit. I will eat my usual breakfast in the morning beforehand. I will eat my usual dinner in the evening.

I’ve been doing this food plan long enough to know that I have no interest in flubbing up my momentum by breaking my plan today. Momentum is too hard to get and way too hard to get back once you’ve broken it. I have no desire to start over. No way.

But it will be special. I’ve ordered a super-fragrant corsage for my mother (and maybe, possibly one for me too). We plan to linger over our meal. Then we’ll take a long walk, looking especially for our favorite viburnum shrubs, which are in bloom (yay). We are thinking about taking a vacation to the Caribbean next spring so we might debate the merits of St. Lucia versus Martinique. I will choose tasty food that fits my plan and not second-guess my choices. I will savor the food, linger in the conversation, and squeeze every bit of pleasure out of being with my family.

But I will not use it as an excuse to throw away all the hard work I’ve done.

Your happiness does not depend on eating large quantities of food you don’t need or the guilt and physical  pain that comes afterwards.

You have two jobs today: make sure your mother knows she is loved and appreciated, and finish the day content and at peace with your food.

Stop assuming that the new thing will suck

My father is getting ready to move soon. He and his wife are moving to a smaller place, about 10-20 miles south of where they currently live.

I asked him if he's excited about going to a new place.

"No," he said. "I've got all my favorite TV shows here. How do I know they'll have the same shows down there?"

Now, he is moving less than an hour away. I really doubt they won't have the same TV shows.

But I actually get it. He is afraid that the new place will suck. Sure, it will mean a smaller property tax bill and mortgage payment, less yardwork, and a lot of other great things, but it’s easy to worry about losing things you really, really love. It’s easy to assume the new thing will stink.

The conversation got me thinking about how when we cut sugar and flour and snacks and overeating out of our lives, we can easily assume, even in silly ways, it will be awful.

I remember listening to a telephone coaching call, early in my no-sugar-no-flour journey, where someone was saying she now felt doomed to never enjoy her food again. Never again would she enjoy a meal if she couldn't have her favorite pasta dish.

I knew exactly what she meant. What if all my meals sucked? What if I never, ever got a meal I enjoyed ever again? After all, when I was growing up, diets meant iceberg lettuce, carrots, cottage cheese, and celery. Boring boring boring. Unenjoyable and flat.

You know what? I love my meals now. I love the fresh, crispy vegetables. I've discovered roasted broccoli is fantastic. My supermarket is packed with great tasting vegetables that go waaayyy beyond iceberg lettuce and celery. We are so lucky, those of us who live in places where supermarkets offer a huge array of different fresh vegetables and fruits. Don’t even get me started on farmer’s markets.

Without my taste buds dulled through overly sweet foods, I can taste foods better than ever. I have begun seeking out local blueberries and tomatoes and corn because they taste so darn good. Lentils? Blackberries? Spinach? I love them.

In fact, I love my meals now more than I ever did when I was eating crap. If you had told me that even two years ago, I would have rolled my eyes and silently said, “Oh yeah right. What a nut.” Never never never would I have thought that was possible.

So be careful about being afraid to move forward because the new thing might be awful. Don't assume that in giving up sugar and flour you'll never enjoy a meal again. Don’t assume that birthdays and holidays will be unbearably awful because you can’t stuff yourself to the bursting point with crap. Don’t assume you’ll never enjoy a vacation again.

What if turns out to be awesome? What if you love the new thing even more than the old thing? What if the new thing doesn’t, in fact, suck at all?

Do I really have to give up alcohol too?

I was explaining Bright Line Eating to my mother one day:

“You have four bright lines: no sugar, no flour, three measured meals a day with no snacks.”

“Wow. That seems like a lot to give up.”

“And apparently the successful people also give up alcohol and coffee.”

“So you have to give up, like, 5-6 things. Even alcoholics focus on abstinence from just one thing: alcohol.”

That got me thinking. Like so many others, I resented being told to give up alcohol and coffee. Come on, it’s hard enough just to give up sugar. I have to give up flour too. And snacks. And unmeasured meals. And coffee. And alcohol. And I don’t even drink much alcohol because more than one gives me a headache and puts me to sleep! Harrumph.

Ok, I’m not going to argue here the benefits of doing so, which are covered much better elsewhere. I totally get it. It is definitely a good thing to give up all these things. But it just felt SO unfair.

Isn’t it crazy unfair that at AA meetings they always have sugary goodies and coffee available? At least they do in movies, I’ve never been to one so, yeah, I don’t know what I’m talking about, but I do know that people I’ve met trying to recover from alcohol addiction eat a lot of sugar and drink a lot of coffee. How come they don’t have to give up that sugar but I have to give up alcohol? Unfair, unfair. Harrumph.

Then again, one of the things I’ve learned in this journey is that my thinking creates my moods. To keep my moods even-keeled, I need to keep my thinking peaceful and balanced, not resentful and full of “woe-is-me.” So I need to reframe this thing. Rather than feeling like my journey sucks because I have to give up so much, maybe I need to shift my thinking. What if alcoholics who ease their cravings by eating sugar and drinking gallons of coffee are actually making their recovery harder not easier?

Maybe there just hasn’t been enough time/studies/insight about sugar in alcoholic recovery. Maybe future brain science studies will show even more convincingly that eliminating sugar and coffee in alcohol recovery makes the journey much easier. People just don’t know or believe that yet.

Maybe I shouldn’t get annoyed that alcohol addicts still “get” to eat sugar and instead give myself a hug. By giving up alcohol (and coffee and flour and snacks and unmeasured meals), I’m making my recovery a lot easier.

What I “get” by giving up all these things is an easier journey where my brains heals more quickly and with less stress. That is totally worth it.

Tool to try: write a letter to your future self

One thing I’ve learned in struggling to resume is that I can’t just try harder, I have to try different. So I’m always looking for new tools. Here’s one I really like.

On the website futureme.org you can write a letter to your future self. Maybe you in 7 days, or 14, or 30 days. 

Write a letter congratulating yourself for making it through those days with squeaky clean bright lines. The website will deliver it to your email inbox after that designated time. There’s no fee.

When I first did this, I wrote a letter to myself in 2 weeks time, praising myself wildly for accomplishing something so awesome. “You rock! You are so awesome and I am so so so proud of you.” Things like that.

And guess what? In those two weeks, I kept my bright lines. I really wanted to deserve the praise and didn’t want to get a letter congratulating me for something I hadn’t done.

It worked. And I’ve used this tool often since then, especially if I’m facing a tough time.

[By the way, I’ve also learned in my relapse struggles that for a tool to work, you can’t break it. Once I’ve broken it once, it won’t work for me anymore. So I’ve also got the incentive not to break another tool. Bonus!]

Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions in this blog are entirely my own.

Getting over your food issues is like springtime

Where I live (just outside Chicago) daffodils are finally in bloom. The redbuds look spectacular. I see fresh spring leaves on every tree and shrub.

Spring arrived very suddenly. One week, I was still scraping ice off my windshield. The next, I'm wearing short sleeves and driving with the A/C on.

And isn't that just like a food journey? When you first give up sugar and flour and start eating for nourishment rather than for emotions, you might feel like you wait and wait but nothing seems to be really happening at first.

You follow your food plan. You lose a few pounds, maybe even 10-15, but no one notices and your clothes size doesn't change. You’re eating vegetables and fruits but mostly because you’re supposed to.

Then suddenly, one day, you notice that a massive change has happened.

Your pants are way too loose, your headaches are gone, and you wake up energetic. You're sleeping better than every. And vegetables and fruit are what you genuinely feel like eating.

It hasn't happened all at once, of course. Inside, your body has been adjusting and releasing and changing. But the progress has been happening so slowly you just didn't see it.

But that day, you suddenly realize just how enormous a change has happened. It's springtime. And it feels beautiful and fresh and new.

Yeah. Recovery is like that.

Ten things that did not help me lose weight

One of the biggest hurdles in giving up sugar and flour is getting past the mental block that says it would be easier to just cut back, rather than give them up altogether.

If you've ever tried losing weight, maybe you too got caught up in the temptation to say, "I'll just cut back on my eating" or “I’ll have a cheat day” or “I can have anything in moderation.”

The more I live my life without sugar and flour, the more I realize how much moderation did not work.

Here are ten “moderation” things I tried that never, ever, even a bit helped me lose weight long-term:

-- Eating treat foods (desserts mostly) only on weekends

-- Eating treat foods only on a designated weekly "cheat day"

-- Eating only a certain number of treat foods (think, only 2 of something, or only 1 scoop)

-- Eating a mini version of a treat for dessert (one tiny square rather than a whole bar)

-- Eating an "it's healthy!" version of a treat

-- Buying only single-serving packages of treats, never an entire package

-- Taking two small bites of a favorite treat, then give the rest to someone else.

-- Getting an favorite restaurant treat to share with someone (I usually ended up eating most of it)

-- Buying a kind of treat you don't like and having that in the house for your family to enjoy (but I usually ended up eating anyway because, hey, it’s still a treat even if it’s not my fave)

-- Using a smaller plate so that my portion looked bigger.

Sound familiar? They all sound so logical and common sense. A bit of a release valve. The perfect way to avoid feeling deprived. Some commercial weight-loss programs are built around this enticing idea that moderation is the way to avoid feeling deprived and to make weight loss easier.

The problem is, I've never known any of these approaches to really work. Not long-term for someone with a real food issue. Certainly not one of those ten approaches ever worked for me.

For me, they just fed an insatiable obsession with thinking about food. After dinner, I'd obsessively think about my treat until I got it. At a party where I'd vowed to eat just two bites of something, I'd spend the entire time waiting for my two bites, trying to get the treatiest version of it, trying to convince myself I could have more than two bites (not much convincing was needed). At restaurants, I just lost it and ate the entire treat myself.

The more we know about the impact of sugar and flour on the brain, the most obvious it seems that these approaches don't work. 

They just give your brain a big ole zap of chemicals that make it go "zing" and want more, more, more.

The more we know about how sugar and flour affect the brain in much the same way as any drug, the more obvious it seems that abstinence, rather than moderation, is the way to go.

A major breakthrough in my journey came when I realized that giving up sugar and flour is so much easier than trying to cut back or moderate or have a cheat day.

Giving it up is much easier than trying to moderate.

And this is why I don’t weigh myself often

In mid-April, two weeks into my current sober-eating streak, I weighed myself. Woo hoo — 5 pounds down! A week later, I weighed again. Holy moly, down 2 more pounds!

It was like the weigh was just flowing off of me.

Then last week I weighed myself again. Up three pounds. Whaaaa? I was devastated. I waited two days, eating perfectly clean. Weighed myself again. Up another pound.

Waaaaahhhhhh.

Now, I know better than this.

I know that if I focus on eating well, with no sugar and flour, no snacks, three meals a day, the weight will take care of itself.

If I focus on sober eating, I’ll lose the weight. If I focus on the weight, I’ll lose my sober eating.

And yet, I still can’t get over the urge to weigh myself.

We all do this, right? Losing weight is such great motivation to keep with a plan. It feels so good.

The problem is that when you rely on the scale for your motivation, you’re going to have to deal with the fact that our bodies don’t behave simply. They're wildly complex. Bodies hang onto weight sometimes. Bodies retain salt sometimes. Bodies have hormone fluctuations. Bodies are not machines. They go up, they go down. Daily fluctuations are part of the process.

Sure, the scale can tell if you’re on the right track, especially in the big-picture sense:

-- You might need to reassess your food volume if you stop losing altogether, start gaining steadily, or hit a plateau.

-- You might need to be reminded to stop adding a little bite here or an extra 1/2 ounce there.

-- You might need to cut out nuts or other shady foods.

There’s a value to the scale.

But if you’re using the scale as your primary motivation to keep on with your food plan, it’s going to mess with your brain. It just will.

There are plenty of other ways to get motivation. Keep a calendar and put a gold star on each day when you eat sober. Notice how your clothes fit. Pay attention to your energy.

I’m off to hide my scale on the top shelf of my garage shelves where it’s hard to reach.

Weighing myself once a week — or even once a month — is fine by me.

BLE is a muscle

Doing Bright Line Eating is a lot like building up a muscle in strength training.

For one thing, it takes persistence. You don't see results in just a couple of days, or even weeks. It can take months of doing it steadily. But it can pay off big time. Over the years, it can change your life.

For another, it takes consistency. You can't do it for a few weeks, drop it for a time, and then come back expecting to be right where you left off.

And you want it to be a lifelong practice. You can't build your muscles up to a certain desired point and then stop doing the work, thinking your muscles will stay right where they are. As soon as you stop doing the work, you stop getting results. Most likely, your muscles will go right back to where they were.

You have to put in the work, on a regular steady basis, and keep putting in the work to get the results you want.

But oh my goodness, the results. If you do the work, consistently and patiently, and recognize that it's a lifelong practice, the results can be amazing.

[Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The ideas in this blog are entirely my own.]

I've tried so many times and failed, why should I try again?

About 14 months into my fight to successfully resume Bright Line Eating, things got really depressing.

Every time I decided that this was IT, today would be the day I resumed, every time I printed out a new 100-day chart, posted a commitment in social media, joined with a friend to do a 60-day challenge, that annoying little voice in my head would begin:

"You’ve tried this so many times and failed, why do you think you’ll succeed now?"

"This will be just like the last time: a few days with squeaky-clean bright lines and then more bright lines broken."

"With all these failures, how can you trust yourself or this program anymore?"

Today I’m challenging myself to answer that voice. I want some ammunition to toss at that dang voice to make it shut up. Here goes:

n  Sure, I could fail again. But then again, I could succeed. I’ve failed at other things before I succeeded. Maybe this is just like that.

n  Don’t statistics show that people who quit smoking often make multiple attempts before succeeding? Maybe my food journey will be similar. (I wrote about this on another blog post HERE.)

n  Nothing really valuable in life comes easy. Remember going to college? Creating a strong marriage? Building a successful business? Giving up diet soda? Work, work, and more work. But in every case, the work was absolutely worth it, and I succeeded eventually. I've succeeded before, which shows I'm capable of succeeding.

n  I just need to figure out what will work for me in getting my lines bright. Trying again is exactly what I need to do to learn what’s needed to stay on track. If something in my BLE toolbox needs to change, I can change it.

n  I give in now, and decide I’m going to fail, that’s just what will happen. If I claim defeat, I’ll be defeated.

It might take you 5 or 8 or 25 failures – or more – but if you’re not willing to risk failure, you’ll never get to success.

Henry Ford said it really well: “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re always right.”

[Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed in this blog are entirely my own.]

Three Things to Stop Doing If You Want to Hit Your Food Goals

 

When I was trying to figure out how to stop eating in an addictive way, I must have made every mistake in the book.

It took forever for me to figure out what to stop doing and how to stick to my bright lines.

If you've been struggling with resuming, or getting yourself to eat according to your food plan regularly, here are some mistakes you too might be making:

(1) Focusing on your weight, not your days with bright lines.

Susan Peirce Thompson says this over and over because it's true: If you focus on your weight, you'll lose your bright lines. If you focus on your bright lines, you'll lose the weight.

But oooohhh, it's so tempting to keep weighing yourself regularly when the plan is working. It feels so awesome to see the scale move down and the pounds drop off. Hooray! It boosts your motivation and keeps you revved up to continue.

So what's the problem? Well, inevitably the scale stops moving. You hit a plateau. You've been doing BLE for a long time and the rapid losses slow down. You start struggling and breaking your lines. Whatever it is, the weight loss slows or stops.

For me, that meant a sudden and immediate plummet in my motivation and willpower. My addictive voice would jump in: "Why are you starving yourself if you're not losing weight? What is the point? Why bother with all this work if you're not even losing?"

Only after this happened multiple times did I realize, I just can't use the scale as a motivator. For every time it helped me, there are as many times it really hurt me.

So I hid the scale for a long time and even now only weigh myself once a week, if not once every few weeks.

I measure my success by the number of squeaky-clean days on my calendar -- I put a gold star sticker on my calendar for each clean day. I do NOT measure my success by my weight.

(2) Thinking you don't have to do the work.

Ever had a situation like this? You wake up feeling fresh and motivated. Today you will eat clean! You will eat only what you planned for the day! You will not break a single bright line!

Then your day begins. Stressful things happen. You get in an argument, your workload increases, you get stuck in traffic. Whatever. Your thoughts turn to food. By the time you get home, you've convinced yourself that "a little treat won't hurt."

I must have done this a hundred times. It was so easy to make those vows -- and so easy to break them.

And I was usually baffled. I was still doing all my tools -- writing my gratitudes list, committing my food, meditating, writing in my 5-year journal. Why weren't these keeping my lines bright???

It took me forever to figure out that keeping my lines bright takes work. The tools are useful, but they aren't the work itself. They're just the support for the work.

That means: You keep your bright lines bright and you do whatever you need to do to keep them bright.

For me, I have to make bright line eating a priority. Maybe not forever, but for sure for now. I have to use all my support tools. I have to blog, and read clean eating blogs, and follow Instagram folks, and listen to sober podcasts, and commit my food, and prep my food, and bring my meals with me.

I have to keep my bright lines bright. That's the work, and it's hard, but I have to do it.

(3) Thinking food is the key to happiness.

When I first considered giving myself a treat for every day that my lines are bright, I couldn't thinking of any treat other than food. [Read my post on treats HERE.]

Anything else -- a trashy magazine, a new kind of tea, a new lipstick -- I'd just buy anyway. I could not imagine anything giving me joy the same way food did.

And I get it. It's hard to imagine celebrating a birthday without a special dessert. What else can make Christmas or Valentine's Day a special celebration other than all the food treats that come with it? When you've had a hard day, what will calm you down and make you happy better than food?

And the sad thing is, food works. It does bring happiness and calm and joy in the moment.

I spent way too many years treating food like some kind of joy juice. It was the secret to making life special.

Except it's not.

Sugar and flour are (as far as I'm concerned) drugs. If all we needed to bring joy into our lives was some sugar and flour, then we'd be able to predictably get joy from it. But we don't. People who eat massive amounts of sugar and flour aren't leaping through their days on a joyful journey of perpetual happiness.

And, I know plenty of people whose lives are filled with joy who never eat sugar and flour.

Finding other ways to bring joy, happiness, contentment and peace to your life is critical to long-term BLE success for me. I'm doing everything I can to find other things besides food that make me joyful.

[Disclaimer: This blog is not affiliated with or endorsed by Bright Line Eating Solutions or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.]

Should I allow food with sugar or flour in my house?

The whole question of whether to permit foods with sugar and flour in them into my house is tough:

Should I ask my (non-food-addicted) husband to keep them out of the house? Should I insist that he hide them? Or only buy things that I dislike?

Should I attend parties where sugary desserts are served?

Should I serve sugary dessert at a party that I host? Bread? Alcohol?

The answer, I've decided, is decidedly "it depends."

That sounds trite, but it's absolutely true -- there's a huge spectrum.

After a solid year of no sugar, I can pretty easily say no to most foods that contain it. It's not a problem if my husband has that kind of food in the house. I'm OK going to a party where a traditional dessert is served.

I know certain sweet treats exist in the world. I don’t eat those things

I know certainly flour-filled foods exist in the world. I don’t eat those things either.

I know crystal meth and cocaine exist in the world. I don’t eat those either.

On the other hand, when I was relapsing nearly daily, certain foods would trigger me so badly that even if I hid them in the locked car outside, I'd still go outside in a rainstorm at 11 p.m. to retrieve them. Those I had to ban altogether. And ask my husband not to buy them either.

And that's the thing, right? You need to decide -- or maybe I should say, you get to decide -- how much you want them to be in your space. And you can change your decision anytime.

If you are struggling with relapsing and resuming and can't seem to go more than a day or a few days without breaking a bright line -- well, maybe you could consider not permitting anything with sugar and flour in it in the house (or asking family members who eat these things to hide them well).

If you've have solid bright lines for months and months but still feel fragile, you're still allowed to refuse to let them in the house (or only let them in if they're hidden) as well.

If your bright lines are really solid and you feel OK with it, you're allowed to let them in the house for others to enjoy while you say "I don’t eat those things."

Banning is a perfectly acceptable way to care for yourself. Changing your mind and allowing them in the house is also perfectly acceptable.

If you’re asking yourself about it and feeling uncertain, that might be a sign it’s better to just not have them around you. When in doubt, I err on the side of keeping them away from me.

The important thing is that you do what feels right and strong and positive for you.

Disclaimer: This website is not officially affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions here are entirely my own.

One of your most powerful BLE tools is right in your bedroom

I woke up today feeling great. Tons of energy, clear thinking, good mood.

Of course, I know why. It's because I got 9.5 hours sleep last night. And that reminds me to remember that one of my most powerful tools: bed.

Had a stressful day? A good night's sleep will help restore you.

Struggling not to eat during the witching hour between dinner and bedtime? You can get into bed. It's OK to go to bed at 7:30 p.m. if needed.

Want to maintain your BLE momentum? Getting enough sleep is critical to you success.

Sleep is always a good idea. Bed is a safe place to be.

Disclaimer: This site is not officially affiliated with Bright Line Eating or Susan Peirce Thompson. The opinions expressed here are entirely my own.